but in truth i think men are like shoes
you like their looks so you take em home
takes awhile to wear them in and that hurts
then just when they're all nice and comfy
you have to throw them out
but animals works too

Don't Be Sexist - Bitches Hate That.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heart Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Constipated People Don't Give A Shit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Horn Broken....Watch For Finger.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking
To Me!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A BLONDE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Your Proctologist called....he found your head.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Illiterate? Write For Help.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Honk If Anything Falls Off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You Drink, Don't Park -- Accidents Cause People.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please Tell Your Pants It's Not Polite To Point.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank You For Pot Smoking.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Earth Is Full - Go Home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Face Is Familiar, But I Can't Quite Remember My Name.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...(Seen Upside Down On A
Jeep)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Guys: No Shirt, No Service.
Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boldly Going Nowhere.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Caution - Driver Legally Blonde.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Before He Admits He is lost?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So you're a feminist...Isn't that precious.