just had to put this up;

Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

A pessimist's blood type is always B-negative.

My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it's just kiln time.

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating; always use condiments.

I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Banning the bra was a big flop.

Sea captains don't like crew cuts.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

Without geometry, life is pointless.

When you dream in colour, it's a pigment of your imagination

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion

Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.